tartan bunker

They’re back. The missing decorators. Unwitting tormentors of MacMog. And me, too. No time to think. An entire day clearing out rooms, and the lad’s on spitting terms. And if I didnae suffer already with a back, I would by now. Dekaydence R&D are working on virtual home makeovers. I cannae wait: missing decorators returning only for a wee dram instead of chaos and MacMog gets to live his eight lives in purrfect peace. 

The number of cobblers in our lives is rocketing. And I’m not talking of the skilled repairers of boots and shoes, now in decline thanks to cheap footware made by enslaved infants for less than a pittance. No, these cobblers are of an official ilk, and include in their number a health and safety inspector who visited the school where a friend teaches. All went well - maybe too well for statistical purposes- until this Official Cobbler espied two boxes on top of a cupboard. “They’re a safety hazard,” said the OC. “They’re there in case we have to return the computer and the printer. And they’re empty,” said Friend. “But should the cupboard topple …” said the OC. “The cupboard is fixed securely to the wall with strong brackets and has been for more than the 30 years I’ve been at the school. Never once has it never fallen over or shown any inclination to so do, “ said Friend. “I’ll take down the boxes so you can tick your box. When you’ve left, I’ll put them back up again.” At least the OC had the decency to smile and nod sympathetically.  But in a few years, with more droned OCs . . .  

Imagine everyone involved in the production of food (excepting grains) was dying and couldn’t be replaced. The consequence? A global bare larder within a few years. A plug for the latest Dekaydence horror movie? No, ma friends, this is no fairytale, this is our world now: our food producers, the humble pollinating bees, are facing extinction – for varied, some unknown, reasons but which could include a virus and the intensive farming of bees. So, not because ma wee lavender bush attracted 27 bees last year, and this year, three alone; nor because Einstein may/or not have said that if bees go the planet’s got four years: The bottom line appears to be that the extinction of the humble bee could cause a global tsunami of food loss. I’d say it’s time for intensive investment in intensive research. Maybe also an intensive rethink on how we co-exist with nature. So, bee active: campaign now. Dekaydence is.

Thoughtlessness in society today involves chemical and germ warfare. Last week, my goddaughter, playing tennis with friends on an indoor court, had to change ends simply to avoid breathing in the pungent fumes from an over-scented moron, obviously of the same mind-set as the women who attend the gym in perfume and full make-up. At the weekend, the same goddaughter was at a bbq. Here, in a tight scrum against the rain, a smiley, fey mother - the type which brings me out in a rash - held a wilting youngster who she’d “never seen so poorly as she was last night.”  I’m not attempting to join up the dots for legal proceedings but it is a fact that the goddaughter is now laid low with a chest infection, affecting work, play, and her own disability. Don’t fret about weapons of mass destruction, only the increasing army of the thoughtless. 

A Black Tartan Guard fell down a hole in the park last week. He’s still recovering. Mind, it wasn’t any Alice in Wonderland hole; just your average wee hole, left by a large stake, and someone who couldn’t be a**’d to fill in. Hence my lad, on a regular run to keep fit, was felled. Couldn’t stand for a good wee while. How he made it back to barracks, I do not know. Likewise, there’s a pathway in town. It’s awash always wi’  broken glass, spittle etc. . . . I wonder the people who do this. Even if they have no thought of others do they feel they’re immune from such ‘accidents’ happening to themselves?  Or are they just thick? Whatevva, they should be made to understand how and what might happen to them if they continue to behave in this way.  You see, I wish for us all to Have a nice Dekaydence day.