tartan bunker

A Black Tartan Guard fell down a hole in the park last week. He’s still recovering. Mind, it wasn’t any Alice in Wonderland hole; just your average wee hole, left by a large stake, and someone who couldn’t be a**’d to fill in. Hence my lad, on a regular run to keep fit, was felled. Couldn’t stand for a good wee while. How he made it back to barracks, I do not know. Likewise, there’s a pathway in town. It’s awash always wi’  broken glass, spittle etc. . . . I wonder the people who do this. Even if they have no thought of others do they feel they’re immune from such ‘accidents’ happening to themselves?  Or are they just thick? Whatevva, they should be made to understand how and what might happen to them if they continue to behave in this way.  You see, I wish for us all to Have a nice Dekaydence day.

Unlike WC Fields who said he liked children but couldn’t eat a whole one, I don’t but I reckon I could. Not because they’re tasty ( I wouldna’ have a clue about that) but because it appears it might be the only way to get rid of them when they’re being a bloody nuisance. Like bawling non-stop for two hours in a restaurant. And the parents do nothing. Ok, ok, to be fair, make the parents the main course. And I thought once that piped Sassenach music in a restaurant was the ultimate turn-off.

I’ve made some big mistakes in my life but I reckon the biggest one was being born into this cruel world. Overdue, longer than most library books, I clung on in there. Eventually, they had to come in and get me. And on the way out, my mother told me, I bit the doctor and poked a wee finger into his eye. He got just that bit too close. No one gets too close to me. Only ma animals. Like wee MacMog. Now he has got some crazy left hook paw. Takes the top of a milk bottle in a flash or a layer of skin off the milkman if he’s a tad late. But I feel guilty sometimes: We take lone animals and herd animals and cosify up to them. Turn them into loners, such as me. At least I have my Tartan Guards and Dekaydence. What do the animals have?